How to Learn from Your Mistakes and Stop Beating Yourself up

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It’s cliché to say but we all do make mistakes. We may not like it when we make a mistake but we have to get okay with the fact at during our lives we will make mistakes and mess things up.

The important thing here is that we choose to learn from our mistakes so we don’t make the same mistake again.

Some, and you might be like them, get really annoyed with themselves and beat themselves up when they make a mistake. I must admit I can be a little like this but I’ve came to realise what’s the point…?

When you beat yourself up you’re remaining in disempowering states that keep you beating yourself up.

Instead, I’ve found a 3-step process that will help you learn from your mistakes quicker and stop beating yourself up!

The first step is to acknowledge the mistake…

It’s super simple, yet might be a little harder than it sounds. When we talk about acknowledging mistakes, it’s not just about the mistake on the surface level. It’s about acknowledging the reasons behind making the mistakes. The “how’s and why’s”.

The word “why” has a mixed reaction from people in my industry and personally, I think we should only use it in certain situations. If something bad happens, most people revert to the mentality to “why me” which is a dangerous place to be. Whereas in this example, to make sure you reduce the chances of making the same mistake twice, I believe, it’s important to find the reasons to why you made the mistake in the first place.

Maybe, you made a mistake because you don’t have the right skillsets… yet.

Maybe, you made a mistake because you were fed the wrong information.

Maybe, you made a mistake because you weren’t fully focused.

There could be 100’s of reasons why you make a mistake. If you don’t explore the “why’s” how can you possibly move forward?

The second step is to take responsibility and resolve the mistake…

Once you know the reasons behind “why” you made the mistake or mistakes it’s vitally important to take 110% responsibility and focus on what you’re going to do about it to fix it!

With every mistake, comes a solution and a way to fix it. Instead of beating yourself up, why not focus and direct your energy on fixing the mistake in order to move forward.

At the end of the day, it’s a choice.

You can either, go into pity mode and feel sorry for yourself or you could dive into your personal power and do something to fix the mistake.

Over the past month, I’m starting to get quite big on intent (maybe it’s because I watch Gary Vee) and pick it up from him.

For me, if you make a mistake and straight away your intent is to fix it and you take the actions in that direction that shows the type of person you are.

Anyone can grow into that person though. I also believe fully in the fixed and growth mindset which means anyone can develop a new skill, a new way of thinking and a new way of being. It might come more naturally to others but through hard work and determination, it can be done.

I’m mentioning this because although for some, after they’ve made a mistake they might instantly start working out how they can fix it, that can be developed in all of us through developing the right mindset.

When you make a mistake, find out the reasons behind why that happened, take full responsibility and then pursue to making it better.

The next step, step three is where we get into the learning part…

Figuring out what we can learn from our mistakes in order to learn, grow, move forward and use it as an investment for our future is very important. If not crucial.

The main ways, in my opinion, we can learn from our mistakes is through reflection and asking ourselves the right questions.

This is one of the reasons why I do a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly reflection as well a reflection when I make a mistake.

During reflection, it’s important to stay open-minded and always widen your perspective. This is because we want to find as many lessons as we can and see the bigger picture.

Sometimes, when we make mistakes, we get into our own heads too much and think it’s the end of the world. When, in fact, it’s not.

While you are reflecting ask yourself some thought-provoking questions. Some of my favorite are:

  • What advice would I give somebody else if they had just made this mistake?
  • How can I learn from this mistake?
  • What would I do differently next time?

I always ask myself what worked or what’s working and what’s not working as sometimes we can focus too much on our mistakes, which is when we beat ourselves up. It is important to maintain balance as we don’t want to ignore the things that are not working.

I’m all about moving forward. No matter how small which is why I believe there’s always something we can do to move forward and learning from our mistakes is definitely one of the number one ways to move forward.

This 3-step process helps me to get really understand why I made the mistake in the first place, it’s not because there’s something wrong with me mentally or something ridiculous like that. It might just be I don’t have the right skillsets yet, which is something that I can change.

I would recommend that you start to implement this 3-step process into your life and think about some of the mistakes you might have made in the past and go through each step again, getting to the cause of why the mistake was made, take responsibility if you haven’t already and find the lesson/s that are hiding within that mistake.

I’m confident this will help you to learn, grow and move forward when it comes to handling your mistakes.

Remember, we all make mistakes…

The important question is (and my favorite ever!) …


Until next time,

Luke Burrows

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