Whether someone is driven or dragged is almost impossible to tell on the surface.
It’s a personal thing that each of us has to question and ask ourselves to discover where our motivations lie.
What It Means to Be Driven vs. Dragged
Are we driven by a compelling vision, or dragged by a compulsion and a set of shoulds and have-tos, whether that’s internal pressures and expectations we put on ourselves, or those we derive from the external world?
As I’ve learned, like many aspects of life, it’s a spectrum that we all sit on, and context, and even the area of our lives, matters.
For example, we might be driven by a compelling vision within our health, but when it comes to our work and career, we’re more dragged than inspired.
That said, when we look at the totality of our lives, we can give ourselves an overall score of where we sit on the spectrum.
Are we more driven, or are we more dragged?
I think I’m somewhere in between and have realised that neither is necessarily good or bad, both have their place.
The Motivation Spectrum We All Sit On
For example, “dragged energy” is often required to help us maintain consistency and to get us to do the thing, whatever the thing is, but I don’t think it’s a good, long-term, sustainable fuel source. At least in my experience, it can make life less enjoyable, and surely one of the purposes of life is to enjoy the time that we have.
But if we’re constantly pushing through, pushing through, pushing through, using dragged energy to get through, then where’s the time for enjoyment and having fun?
The Insecure Overachiever
This is a challenge that many insecure overachievers and people with Type A personalities face.
An insecure overachiever is someone who is highly ambitious and a go-getter but is fuelled by a deep-seated feeling of inadequacy. They grip onto life so tightly and fear letting go.
They tend to be drawn towards personal growth and working on themselves, and resonate with the “work harder and do more” mentality, when they are, in most cases, the exact opposite group that needs to take this message on board. It’s so natural for them to do so; they already have these tendencies.
Yet again, these are typically the people who resonate with this and similar messaging and, more often than not, are dragged rather than driven throughout their journey.
For these individuals, and maybe you can relate, it requires more conscious effort to let go and learn to simply enjoy life more.
I often wonder what it would be like to not be dragged in the areas where I am.
Example of Being Driven and Dragged
Exercise is a good example.
I know all of the amazing benefits of exercise, and I do have a vision for how I want to look, feel and perform. So it’s fair to say I’m clear on why I get up early every morning at the same time, no matter what, and exercise first thing, whether that’s going for a long-distance run, doing some VO₂ max work, or hitting resistance training.
That said, I’ve noticed a growing appetite for just not wanting to, even with afternoon walks. It’s all taking that little bit of extra effort and energy to get moving.
But once I do, nine times out of ten, I’m pleased that I did. It’s a prime example of how, over the years, at least at the time of writing, I’ve become more dragged than driven by a set of have-tos, almost compulsions, when it comes to this area of my life.
And I partly put that down to how exercise has become part of my identity.
Now, you could argue it’s a good identity to have…
There are, for sure, worse things to wrap one’s identity up in.
But God, on a cold winter’s morning, when you haven’t slept too well and you just want to stay in bed, it doesn’t half feel shit to be dragged, not inspired, out of bed by a voice in your head that says you have to move, and if you don’t, somehow this makes you weak and less of a person!
That’s what being dragged can do to you…
Maybe this is just a phase, and we all go through them. Because overall, I enjoy exercise and being active rather than being stationary. I believe it’s what we humans are designed to do.
Finding Your Way Back
It has hit home, the difference between being driven and inspired by a compelling vision vs. being dragged by a set of compulsions and have-tos often wrapped up in our identity, and it has put into question just how sustainable that really is over the long term.
I sense it’s not that sustainable. 😕
And that, like in my case, getting back to inspiration and looking forward to training is not only the goal but the journey that I’m on.
In the meantime, I’m still showing up daily and have no inclination for that to change!
Whether you’re like me and feel dragged when it comes to the same area, exercise, fitness and movement, or in another area, I’d recommend continuing to show up and doing the best that you can, while exploring and being open to other ways to get back to being driven and inspired again.
Final Reflection: Life Is to Be Lived
Remember: life isn’t all about suffering and pushing through, even though growth and great rewards are often on the other side. A huge part of life is to enjoy it and live it fully, despite what some intersections of society and the internet tell you.
Reminders
1. Reality doesn’t need us to operate it.
When we stop trying to control everything, life often has a way of running more smoothly. Therefore, it’s not our situation but our resistance to it that causes suffering. The bottom line? Let go, or be dragged. It’s as simple as that.
2. Life is a game that we cannot win.
Someone on my podcast once told me that, if we didn’t already know, we’re not getting out of here alive. And, therefore, to enjoy life! Deep down, we know it, but fail to consciously recognise it, probably out of fear. However, reminding ourselves of this phenomenon often helps us to learn, laugh, and live more fully before the final whistle blows.
3. Know thyself.
Consistency and discipline matter. No one has done anything great without them. However, depending on our tendencies, they can become too much and end up draining our souls. This is the role of self-awareness and learning to know thyself: to determine when to lean in and when to take our foot off the gas.