How Light Affects Our Health, an Insight for Self-discovery, and How to Start Your Day From Tomorrow!

I don’t know about you but there are certain behaviours about others that annoy, frustrate, and drive me nuts!! 😣

Most recently I’ve realised that these behaviours are often down to one or two maybe even both things…

1. They are a reflection of the behaviours we do that we don’t like about ourselves.

2. They are a value infringement.

Or…

3. Both!

Let me explain…

So often we get frustrated about the behaviours of others without stopping and asking the question… why? 🧐

Why does this or that behaviour annoy me so much about this person?!

Furthermore, we fail to hold up the mirror and ask, is this a behaviour that I do myself…

Reflecting on my own life I realised that oftentimes the behaviours that drive me nuts are the ones that I unconsciously find myself doing and therefore, are too close to home and this could be one reason why I find them so annoying. Sound familiar?! 👀

Secondly, if that’s not the case another reason we could get so frustrated is because said behaviour could be a value infringement.

Meaning that…

When someone does something that goes against our highest values, we can feel triggered and violated.

This is neither good nor bad because, at the end of the day, we have to stand for something otherwise we will fall for everything so getting the sign often through our emotions and feelings that our values have been violated in some way is a feedback mechanism that we can use to navigate situations and life in the best possible way.

However, that’s often not the case!

Most people and I’ve been there react without any conscious thought.

The better approach is to pause, take a deep breath and respond with conscious awareness knowing that your values have been violated in some way, working out why and how, and communicating this consciously so that you can navigate the situation positively.

This requires becoming an observer of self which I often speak about and the more I go through life the more I realise how important it is!

There are situations where the behaviours that annoy us the most are both a mirror to the behaviours we demonstrate, don’t like, are too close to home and are a value infringement.

These are tough to navigate as we are “guilty” (for one of a better word) of the behaviour ourselves.

However, the antidote to all of this starts with awareness and that’s a process I’ve been going through recently and you can too!

You can start this process by noticing the behaviours that drive you nuts about others and instead of judging them and getting annoyed, frustrated, or even defensive using them as a mirror for self-discovery.

Ask questions such as…

• Is this behaviour something I see in myself?
• Does this behaviour remind me of something that I’m trying to avoid or suppress?
• Why do I feel annoyed, frustrated, and threatened by this behaviour? What is it about it that triggers me?

Then, once you go through these questions you can start by identifying the ways the behaviour shows up in your life, ie. the way you behave this way and ask…

• Who do I need to be for this behaviour to not bother me anymore?
• What am I currently getting out of being this way?
• How would life be different without this behaviour?

You get the point!

These questions are only an example of the type of questions that you can ask.

The bottom line here is to start to explore and get to the root of why you feel the way you do about the behaviours in others whether it’s to do with the behaviours being too close to home, a value infringement or both.

The final thing I’d say on this is that this isn’t a one-and-done exercise. It’s a self-discovery exercise that you can do over and over again especially when you notice yourself feeling most triggered by the behaviours of others.

Again, instead of judgement lean into curiosity and use the situation as a mirror for self-discovery and personal growth!