The Problem with Positive Thinking And Much More

Recently I’ve been going through a difficult time. There are a few reasons behind it that I’m not going to bore you with but instead share something I’ve realised during this time that stems from my amazing family doing all they can to help.

As an optimist or dare I say ex-optimist (read this​ edition to find out why I say ex-optimist) I’ve been guilty of this before and it’s the idea of positive thinking…

I’m not against positive thinking or positivity. I think in a world where negativity sells and is all around us at the touch of a fingertip drowning that out with positivity, gratitude, and feel-good vibes is a great antidote!

I think we all can learn to be more positive, and grateful and notice all of the good stuff in our lives. As Gary Vee says, the chances of us being human are 400 trillion to 1​ so we have a lot to be positive about and grateful for…

One insight into positive thinking I’ve realised after my family has been encouraging me to focus on the positives and keep my chin up is that oftentimes we only “need to” focus on the positives when we’re doing something we don’t enjoy, dislike, and are in challenging/difficult situation.

For example, we may get encouraged to focus on the positives when working a job we hate, being somewhere we don’t want to be or having to go out of our way when we’d rather be doing something else–especially if that thing or situation drains our energy!

This positive thinking reiterates the fact that we’re doing something we don’t enjoy or are in a difficult situation because we’re only thinking positively to lift our spirits due to what we’re doing or the situation we are in…

Make sense? 🤷‍♂️

Think of it this way…

We don’t focus on the positives when we’re doing something we enjoy because we’re so caught up living in the moment doing the thing that the natural by-product of doing the thing is joy and feel-good emotions!

So what’s the solution?

The solution is to learn to accept the situation for what it is aka be in a state of surrender with no labels attached. It’s the attachment of labels, ie. positive or negative that derives us from our peace and sanity.

This isn’t to say that if an ongoing situation, like working a job we hate is causing us to be unhappy, unfulfilled, and depressed we keep working that job.

On the contrary… it’s accepting that’s the situation with no labels and not fighting it and then directing your attention to what we can do about it!

Look for a new job?

Update our CV?

Think about what we want from life?

Etc.

That’s the antidote!

And it’s more practical rather than, in this example, working a job we don’t like and only getting through the days by “thinking positively”.

That’s no way to live life! ❌

We end up falling into a rut, and before we know it 5, 10, 15 years or more have gone by.

That’s what I’ve learned about positive thinking, what about you? Where do you stand on it?