Here’s an insight you may or may not have considered…
We don’t hear what others say. We hear through our lens of the world.
This isn’t on purpose. In my experience, it’s an automatic process by default that’s part of the unconscious mind, always playing away in the background but having a profound impact on all of our lives.
The Challenge of Automatic Reactions
The challenge with this is that it often leads us to react without responding, take things personally, and ruminate too much.
The antidote? 🤔
The Art of Living Consciously
Well, I’m on a lifelong journey of figuring this out. But to date, the art of living consciously is the best solution I’ve come up with. The challenge, though, is that it’s not an overnight fix; it’s a journey in itself.
And some of the best ways I’ve learned to live more consciously are to…
1 – Stop and pause
I get it, this is easier said than done. It’s a habit to cultivate, and like all habits, it’s hard at first, and change takes time. However, with practice, we begin to see how this habit can put us on the path to living consciously because when we stop and pause, we return to the present moment, where life is actually lived, and can respond more consciously.
2 – Be curious and open
It doesn’t take a genius to understand that when we are curious and open, we’re open to more possibilities and new interpretations. We start to see things differently and aren’t so tightly wrapped up in our own ego, one of the underlying players influencing how we hear what others say through our lens of the world. In my experience, it’s much easier to be curious and open when we first stop and pause, which is why this comes second. Although it’s worth recognising that life isn’t always this linear. Either way, curiosity and openness help us to live more consciously, and for me, that’s one of the ultimate goals in life.
3 – Listen deeply
This is also not as easy as we think because, as mentioned, we hear through our own lens of the world, including how we see ourselves and relate to others. However, hearing isn’t listening. Deep listening, or active listening, is about paying attention to the words coming out of someone’s mouth, watching their body language, being aware of tone, and noticing what is and isn’t being said. There are often valuable insights to be found between the lines. This takes conscious practice and effort, but it’s worth it because it can lead to a better understanding of one another, deepening relationships in the process. And relationships are one of the aspects of life that make it meaningful and worth living.
The Ongoing Journey of Personal Growth
The more I learn about the human experience, the more I realise there are many underlying factors at work that impact our behaviours, choices, decisions, and how we show up in the world, especially when it comes to understanding the human mind, biology, and how we are, frankly, weird.
It can feel like an uphill battle at times, one that we’re never going to win.
Despite this, I think it makes conscious personal growth and self-work even more important because through these ventures, we begin to learn more about ourselves and the human experience. This can bring peace and contentment, knowing we’re not going mad, and help us learn from our mistakes and downfalls, which are inevitable, and grow into better versions of ourselves, one step at a time.
Conclusion
This insight: we don’t hear what others say; we hear through our lens of the world, is one I needed to hear to take my next step forward, and maybe you do too. It’s a profound realisation that we can start becoming more aware of by stopping and pausing, being more curious and open, listening deeply, and noticing our conversations and interactions with others, especially when our mind wanders. That’s usually a good indication of whether we’re listening deeply or not.
If not, that’s okay. It’s part of how we grow consciously, become better listeners, and evolve into better versions of ourselves. Make it an exciting journey and part of your personal unfoldment. We’re all on that journey, just in different ways, depending on the areas we most need to grow. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but rather something to look forward to, strive towards and embrace.
Reminders
1. React less, listen more.
When we react, we close the door to understanding and relating to others. When we listen, we open the door to connection, learning, and growth.
2. Ask more questions; curiosity matters.
Curiosity expands awareness and allows for new and different perspectives. It reminds us that there’s always more to learn, about ourselves, others, and the world around us.
3. Comparison is the thief of joy.
We’re all on our own unique journey of personal growth and unfoldment. Comparing our journey to others only distracts us from our own journey and leads to no good place.