When false urgency arises, it often leads to decisions that we will later regret.
But what exactly is it?
What exactly is false urgency?
What Is False Urgency?
False urgency is an artificial, high-stress state where we feel the need to act immediately, when in reality, we don’t.
The supposed event, task, or situation in front of us isn’t actually that urgent. It doesn’t need an immediate response.
But we feel that it does.
In the modern world, the sense of false urgency is all too familiar. We live busy, chaotic, hectic lifestyles, running around like headless chickens, rushing from one place to another.
We see nearly everything as urgent, or at least as something we’ve got to do right now, never giving ourselves a chance to slow down and take a breath.
When that is the exact thing that would help us see false urgency for what it is.
In such a chaotic world, it can be challenging to decipher what is and what isn’t urgent. What needs our immediate attention, what can wait, and what could even be a distraction?
I think about this through a very practical lens:
Anything that poses a threat to our basic human needs, and most notably our sense of safety, security, and overall survival, is pretty urgent and requires immediate action.
Anything outside of this probably doesn’t.
Why False Urgency Feels So Real
Here’s the thing:
Given the advancements of the modern world, these threats, and I mean actual threats, happen far less than we think they do. There isn’t a sabre-tooth tiger around every corner ready to have us for dinner.
Most of the threats we perceive are actually false.
They’re perceived threats, which vary depending on our life experiences, traumas, tests, and tribulations, not actual threats that, if left unattended, could threaten our survival.
The human body and mind are designed to keep us alive and keep our species going. This is the same for any living organism.
Biology, Stress, and the Fight-or-Flight Response
So, it’s no wonder that if it senses it’s under attack, it’s going to react in a way that ensures life continues. This is often known as the fight, flight, or freeze response, to either fight the threat in front of us, retreat, freeze, or run away.
The challenge is that our biology, our body and mind, hasn’t caught up with modern times and can get a bit confused.
The threat that used to be a sabre-tooth tiger is now someone in the office whose behaviour is triggering us to feel threatened. We either aggressively approach them or retreat, leaving us feeling anxious and insecure.
It’s worth reminding ourselves that all of this happens unconsciously, especially when we’re rushing from one place to another.
It’s only when we’re able to slow down, even just a little bit, that we see the wood for the trees and realise that what we thought was a threat requiring urgent, immediate action actually isn’t.
Outside of our direct safety, security, and survival, there aren’t many situations or events that are as urgent as we think they are.
This is where false urgency can raise its ugly head.
I’ve found the truth most people won’t like is that the antidote to false urgency often lies in slowing down, taking a pause, catching our breath, and becoming more conscious, aware, and present, so we can make better, more informed decisions.
The thing we need to realise consciously is that most situations that are an actual threat to our survival are automatically, by default, dealt with by the body and mind.
We don’t need to consciously think about them, and this is by design.
For example, we cross a road and see a car coming. What do we do? We jump out of the way.
We don’t pontificate about whether we should get out of the way or the best way to do so. We just act instinctively.
But when it comes to that co-worker in the office who is triggering us to feel threatened for whatever reason, we can ruminate and overthink about what it means and how we should react.
Especially if we are overthinkers, hyper-responders, or hypervigilant.
If we fall into either of these camps, whether through genetics or early-age circumstances, we’re more prone to always be on the lookout for threats, scanning our environment at every turn.
When this is the case, slowing down is not only always the answer in my mind, but even more important.
As you can imagine, falling into this camp doesn’t only make life more difficult. But, and this is for society at large, we mistake slowing down for stopping.
And when we want to be productive in the world and do sht*, as many of us do, we believe we can’t, because slowing down doesn’t equal progress.
This is a false narrative.
Slowing Down Without Stopping
We can slow down while being productive, and still act and move forward.
As the popular mantra by U.S. Navy SEALs states:
“Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast.”
Another variation of this is:
“Fast is slow, and slow is fast.”
Either way, it emphasises that taking a steady, conscious approach often prevents mistakes and leads to greater progress in the long run.
Applying this to our daily lives means we’re less chaotic, not rushing from here to there and everywhere in between.
I’m sure we’ve all felt that rushing energy, as I like to call it, which is just another way of describing false urgency.
I don’t know about you, but for me, it doesn’t feel very nice.
Or, to put it another way, it doesn’t feel like the best way to navigate life.
It not only leads to decisions we’re likely to regret later on, but it also increases mistakes, mishaps, and overall chaos.
And life is chaotic enough.
It doesn’t require us to add to it by always being on the go, simply because we think that’s what it takes to be successful.
Decision-Making, Regret, and Emotional States
When it comes to slowing down, the wise old advice to “sleep on it” holds up pretty well, especially when we’re tired, mentally drained, or emotionally dysregulated.
I have a principle: I don’t make decisions when emotionally triggered, heightened, and/or feeling tired, for the simple reason that in this state, we don’t make good ones.
I’ve recently added when false urgency arises to this principle as well.
Have you ever been in a situation where something felt urgent, maybe a decision needed to be made, but instead of rushing into it, you slept on it?
Then, after waking up and getting a good night’s sleep, you felt more mentally sharp and realised that the urgent thing wasn’t actually that urgent after all.
And even if it was, you were in a better place to move forward.
Sometimes, all we need is a good night’s sleep to go from not thinking clearly to gaining clarity.
That’s not to say that slowing down or sleeping on it will guarantee we always make the best decision and never have regrets.
I used to live by the idea of having no regrets whatsoever.
Then I realised that this isn’t practical.
We’re going to make mistakes. We’re going to mess up from time to time. That’s part of life and what it means to be human.
I’ve learned to reframe this as having no “big R” regrets.
The kind of regrets like wishing you’d pursued a certain career path, asked that person out on a date, or spent more time with loved ones.
You know the ones, the things that, as you’re reading this, you know you want to do but for some reason aren’t.
They’re often the big, scary things that lead us to live our most authentic lives.
That’s what slowing down helps reduce the chances of.
Slowing down reduces the likelihood of “big R” regrets, mistakes, mishaps, and mess-ups, both in how often they happen and in how big and impactful they are.
Making Slowing Down a Way of Life
The key is making slowing down a way of life.
A way of moving through the world.
It’s hard, especially in the modern world.
It’s not encouraged. The go-go-go mentality is.
But it’s worth remembering that this is a choice we can all make.
We can either choose to live in a world full of false urgency, rushing around all day long like headless chickens…
Or we can choose to design our lives with more flow and ease, slowing the pace just a little.
Remember: slowing down doesn’t mean stopping.
It means moving at a slightly slower pace to reduce the regrets, mistakes, and mishaps we’ll otherwise kick ourselves for later.
This isn’t a one-and-done phenomenon.
It’s a daily practice.
A way of conscious living.
It’s the way I practise and recommend to others, not because I do it perfectly, but because I know how necessary it is.
We will fall from time to time. That’s part of it.
But by starting today, taking just a few moments to breathe and slow down, we can begin to see false urgency for what it is and make better, more conscious choices.
Practices like meditation and breathwork help support this way of living, even though many people struggle to commit to them.
If that’s you, start small.
Use micro-moments throughout your day to pause, breathe, and slow down, even if it’s for a minute in the bathroom.
These moments add up.
The Bottom Line on False Urgency
The bottom line is this:
Most things in life don’t require immediate action.
Wisdom is learning to discern what does and what doesn’t.
If something threatens your safety, security, survival, or that of those you love, it’s likely urgent.
If it doesn’t, slowing down and sleeping on it is often the wiser choice.
When false urgency arises, slow down.
Reminders
1. Don’t make decisions when emotionally triggered, heightened, or tired.
When we’re emotionally heightened or tired, our clarity is compromised. We struggle to make the best, conscious decisions possible and see the wood through the trees. In these situations, it’s best to stop, get some rest, and return to the situation later when we are well rested and regulated.
2. Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast.
Despite rushing, feeling like we’re moving fast, it actually creates mistakes that slow us down. Moving at a steady, smooth pace is actually what’s required to make tangible progress that compounds over time. And, it just feels better.
3. Urgency is rare; discernment is wisdom.
Most things can wait. Learning the difference between real threats and perceived ones is where wisdom is formed and changes everything.