“To be in the present moment means to be in your body”
The fastest way to live in the present moment is to get out of the mind and into our physical bodies.
Why Most People Struggle to Feel
But most people struggle with this.
Why?
Is it out of fear?
Probably.
Because most people don’t allow themselves to truly feel.
They’re fearful of what they might discover.
And, despite the societal progress we’ve made, our emotions and feelings are still seen as a sign of weakness, especially for us men!
But here’s the thing…
The Colour of Life
Our emotions and feelings often give life colour.
Imagine life without them. That would be pretty bleak.
Our range of emotions, the unpleasant and pleasant ones, and our ability to feel are what make us human.
Despite the challenges they bring and the skills we need to learn to navigate them healthily (such as emotional intelligence, awareness, and regulation), I believe living in a world without emotions would not be worthwhile at all.
Sure, it’s easy to say and write this when one is calm, feeling good, thoughtful, and inspired.
But what happens when anger, frustration, worry, and anxiety come around?!
It’s in these moments that it’s worth remembering that our full range of emotions and how we feel is what makes us human and gives colour to our world!
Emotions as Feedback
It’s also worth remembering that our emotions and feelings serve as valuable feedback tools to learn and grow from.
For example, someone cuts us off on the road, and we feel angry. Why? What was it about that situation that triggered us to feel this way?
When we begin to become curious about our emotions, what we feel, and why we feel the way we do, we start to understand ourselves better. Over time, helps us relate better to others and the world around us, rather than being an emotional mess that reacts to everything.
This is a key skill that most of us need to learn and are continually developing:
The skill of learning to feel feelings without reacting or casting judgment.
It’s hard.
And, I’m no expert at this.
It takes time, after time, after time, to even slightly move the needle, and it requires constant reminders.
Practice the Practice
Simply put, it’s a practice.
And, we have to practice the practice if we want to get better at it. It’s the same for anything we want to improve at.
The issue is that most people don’t put the reps in because they are afraid of feeling feelings.
They fear dropping into their physical body, and truly being in the present moment and feeling!
So what’s the solution?
To just do it…
I think so.
There’s no quick fix or hack here.
We just have to do it.
Tools to Drop Into the Body
And there are a plethora of tools that can help us get out of the mind and drop into our physical bodies, helping us to feel.
Some are well known, such as meditation, Qi Gong, breath work, etc.
It’s up to us to pick our tool of choice, start small, even if it’s with 5 minutes per day, and track our progress along the way.
Our emotions, feelings, and the entire way we’re weird didn’t come with an instruction manual. It’s up to us to figure it out for ourselves.
Where Life Is Really Lived
But what I do know is that the more we seek avoidance, the stronger it grows, and most of us are avoiding our emotions and how we feel.
And despite how uncomfortable it might be, the present moment is where we learn to truly feel feelings and where life is really lived!
Don’t fight it, accept it, and live more there.
Reminders
1. Learn to feel feelings, without reacting or casting judgment.
One of the most important skills we can all learn is feeling feelings, without reacting or casting judgment. When we allow ourselves to feel without labelling emotions as good or bad, we cultivate emotional awareness and intelligence, which is the first step to showing up better in all of our relationships and life at large.
2. Our emotions are feedback tools to learn and grow from.
When we approach our emotions as feedback tools to learn and grow from, we realise that every emotion carries information. Anger, sadness, joy, and fear are signals guiding us towards understanding ourselves better. When we better understand ourselves and listen to what our emotions are trying to tell us, we turn discomfort into direction and can relate to others and the world around us better.
3. React less, listen more.
All of us can improve at reacting less, listening more. That includes listening to ourselves, what are our emotions telling us? And, of course, listening to others, not just to respond, but to understand. When we pause and listen deeply, we stop reacting out of habit and start responding with more awareness, understanding, and purpose.