Whether someone is driven or dragged is almost impossible to tell on the surface.
It’s a personal thing that each of us has to question and ask ourselves to discover where our motivations lie.
What It Means to Be Driven vs. Dragged
Are we driven by a compelling vision, or dragged by a compulsion and a set of shoulds and have-tos, whether that’s internal pressures and expectations we put on ourselves, or those we derive from the external world?
As I’ve learned, like many aspects of life, it’s a spectrum that we all sit on, and context, and even the area of our lives, matters.
For example, we might be driven by a compelling vision within our health, but when it comes to our work and career, we’re more dragged than inspired.
That said, when we look at the totality of our lives, we can give ourselves an overall score of where we sit on the spectrum.
Are we more driven, or are we more dragged?
I think I’m somewhere in between and have realised that neither is necessarily good or bad, both have their place.
The Motivation Spectrum We All Sit On
For example, “dragged energy” is often required to help us maintain consistency and to get us to do the thing, whatever the thing is, but I don’t think it’s a good, long-term, sustainable fuel source. At least in my experience, it can make life less enjoyable, and surely one of the purposes of life is to enjoy the time that we have.
But if we’re constantly pushing through, pushing through, pushing through, using dragged energy to get through, then where’s the time for enjoyment and having fun?
This distinction maps closely to what researchers call intrinsic versus extrinsic motivation, the difference between doing something because it genuinely interests and fulfils you, versus doing it to avoid a negative outcome or satisfy an external demand.
The Insecure Overachiever
This is a challenge that many insecure overachievers and people with Type A personalities face.
An insecure overachiever is someone who is highly ambitious and a go-getter but is fuelled by a deep-seated feeling of inadequacy. They grip onto life so tightly and fear letting go.
They tend to be drawn towards personal growth and working on themselves, and resonate with the “work harder and do more” mentality, when they are, in most cases, the exact opposite group that needs to take this message on board. It’s so natural for them to do so; they already have these tendencies.
Yet again, these are typically the people who resonate with this and similar messaging and, more often than not, are dragged rather than driven throughout their journey.
For these individuals, and maybe you can relate, it requires more conscious effort to let go and learn to simply enjoy life more.
I often wonder what it would be like to not be dragged into the areas where I am.
Example of Being Driven and Dragged
Exercise is a good example.
I know all of the amazing benefits of exercise, and I do have a vision for how I want to look, feel and perform. So it’s fair to say I’m clear on why I get up early every morning at the same time, no matter what, and exercise first thing, whether that’s going for a long-distance run, doing some VO₂ max work, or hitting resistance training.
That said, I’ve noticed a growing appetite for just not wanting to, even with afternoon walks. It’s all taking that little bit of extra effort and energy to get moving.
But once I do, nine times out of ten, I’m pleased that I did. It’s a prime example of how, over the years, at least at the time of writing, I’ve become more dragged than driven by a set of have-tos, almost compulsions, when it comes to this area of my life.
And I partly put that down to how exercise has become part of my identity.
Now, you could argue it’s a good identity to have…
There are, for sure, worse things to wrap one’s identity up in.
But God, on a cold winter’s morning, when you haven’t slept too well and you just want to stay in bed, it doesn’t half feel shit to be dragged, not inspired, out of bed by a voice in your head that says you have to move, and if you don’t, somehow this makes you weak and less of a person!
That’s what being dragged can do to you…
Maybe this is just a phase, and we all go through them. Because overall, I enjoy exercise and being active rather than being stationary. I believe it’s what we humans are designed to do.
Finding Your Way Back
It has hit home, the difference between being driven and inspired by a compelling vision vs. being dragged by a set of compulsions and have-tos often wrapped up in our identity, and it has put into question just how sustainable that really is over the long term.
I sense it’s not that sustainable. 😕
And that, like in my case, getting back to inspiration and looking forward to training is not only the goal but the journey that I’m on.
In the meantime, I’m still showing up daily and have no inclination for that to change!
Whether you’re like me and feel dragged when it comes to the same area, exercise, fitness and movement, or in another area, I’d recommend continuing to show up and doing the best that you can, while exploring and being open to other ways to get back to being driven and inspired again.
Final Reflection: Life Is to Be Lived
Remember: life isn’t all about suffering and pushing through, even though growth and great rewards are often on the other side. A huge part of life is to enjoy it and live it fully, despite what some intersections of society and the internet tell you.
The Key Takeaways on Motivation
- Driven vs. Dragged: Your motivation exists on a spectrum. Being driven means you are pulled forward by a compelling vision, while being dragged means you are pushed by compulsions, expectations, and a sense of obligation.
- The Role of Dragged Energy: Feeling dragged isn’t always negative. It can provide the push needed for consistency, but it’s not a sustainable long-term fuel source and can reduce your enjoyment of life.
- The Insecure Overachiever: This personality type is often fuelled by a feeling of inadequacy, leading them to be driven by a need to constantly do more. If this is you, the real work is learning to let go and enjoy life.
- When Identity Becomes a Burden: Sometimes, an activity like exercise can become so tied to your identity that you feel dragged by the need to uphold it, even when inspiration fades. This can turn a positive habit into a mental burden.
- Finding Your Way Back to Inspiration: If you feel dragged, the advice is to keep showing up while actively exploring ways to reconnect with your original inspiration and vision. The goal is to shift back to being driven.
FAQs for Are You Driven or Dragged?
What is the main difference between being driven and being dragged?
Being driven is when you are motivated by a positive, compelling vision for your future. In contrast, being dragged is when your motivation comes from internal or external pressures, compulsions, and a feeling that you ‘have to’ or ‘should’ do something.
Is it always bad to feel ‘dragged’?
No, not necessarily. ‘Dragged energy’ can be useful for maintaining consistency and getting things done when inspiration is low. However, relying on it long-term can lead to burnout and make life less enjoyable.
Why do ‘insecure overachievers’ often feel dragged?
Insecure overachievers are typically fuelled by a deep-seated sense of inadequacy. This means their ambition isn’t pulled by a positive vision but pushed by a fear of not being good enough, which creates a constant, dragging pressure to do more.
What should you do if you feel more dragged than driven?
The first step is to acknowledge it. Continue showing up and maintaining your habits, but also consciously explore ways to reconnect with your ‘why’. Try to find what originally inspired you to get back to a place of genuine motivation.
Can you be driven in one area of life and dragged in another?
Yes, absolutely. It’s common to feel inspired and driven in one part of your life, like your health, while feeling dragged and uninspired in another, such as your career. Recognising this can help you address where you need to find more inspiration.