Self-improvement is hot and has a message of always improving and striving to be better that many love to bang the drum about.
For so long, I resonated with this message — and still do to a certain extent.
Simultaneously, there has been this niggly feeling that something about it doesn’t sit right with me.
Learning about the difference between self-improvement and self-understanding brought this home to me.
Self-improvement has more of an energy that we’re broken in some way and need fixing, when we don’t.
Self-understanding is more about compassion. I see it as self-discovery and the process of understanding (or discovering) oneself, and why we do the things we do, in the way that we do them.
By understanding ourselves, we cultivate more self-awareness (and I’ve shared before how awareness is the start of any meaningful change and growth journey) and can approach our personal growth with more compassion and self-insight.
I think this can only be helpful.
Terms like self-improvement and personal growth are often used interchangeably.
I think there is a difference.
As alluded to, self-improvement has a certain energy.
I prefer the term growth — personal growth, to be exact.
Because growth is an innate part of life.
We just have to turn to nature to see the prime — and arguably best — example of this.
Go outside, and you’ll see how nature grows, evolves, and “dies” — and is reborn.
Everything has its cycle. The cycle of life.
I believe we’re the same.
Although when we “physically” die — for want of a better phrase — we don’t know what happens after our death.
However, we can “die” in other ways too, whereby we let go and transcend old, often limiting parts of ourselves.
This is part of our personal growth journey and becoming more of who we truly are.
I’m realising that this journey isn’t about fixing ourselves because we’re broken in some way — the conventional self-improvement approach — but understanding ourselves, why we do the things we do, and using our self-insights to propel our personal growth.
This journey isn’t linear, straightforward, or easy.
There are going to be ups and downs.
But the more I lean into it — rather than beating myself up because I “f**ked up” and “must improve” and feel bad for doing so — the better relationship I have with myself and the more I actually grow.
Surely, that’s what matters?!
Maybe you’re the type of person who needs to hear the conventional self-improvement message to grow.
If that’s the case, do what works for you!
Being on this path myself, I’m questioning how sustainable that is in the long term.
It’s great short-term rocket fuel to get us going.
Long-term, though, a more sustainable approach is probably going to be healthier.
Self-understanding is the best approach I’ve found to date!
REMINDERS
1.
Growth is an innate part of life.
Growth and our unfoldment are an innate part of life when we’re conscious and engaged in the game of life.
When we are, no force is needed.
2.
Understanding ourselves is how we grow.
Self-understanding is what leads to personal growth. Not beating ourselves up, believing we’re broken, and trying to fix ourselves.
3.
Everything has its cycle — the cycle of life.
What cycle are you in right now?
Growth, rest, learning, or reflection?
Honour the cycle you’re in.