Welcoming vs Accepting Emotions: What’s the Difference?
Welcoming an emotion is about awareness, being open to it, and learning not to fight it.
Accepting an emotion, on the other hand, is giving our sense of power away to the emotion and the subsequent experience it leads to, with the premise that there is nothing we can do to change it.
This leads us to become victims of our emotions. And the victim mindset, in any context, is an unhealthy mindset, in my opinion.
Why Accepting Emotions Leads to a Victim Mindset
I think of accepting an emotion as being indefinite:
“This is what I’m experiencing, and there is nothing whatsoever that I can do to change it.”
And that is hardly ever true!
How to Change Your Emotional State
While we may feel it’s hard to change our emotions, there is nearly always something we can do to shift our emotional state.
The number-one strategy I’ve learned to do this is by changing our physiology, which is a fancy way of saying: move your body.
Change Your Physiology to Change How You Feel
As Tony Robbins often explains, our body (physiology) directly impacts how we feel (psychology). This can involve adjusting our posture, breathing exercises, exercising, or even simply smiling.
When I reflect on times I’ve been in a negative emotional state and moved my body, I’ve felt better, whether that’s calmer, more composed, more peaceful, or experiencing greater mental clarity.
On the flip side, when I’ve remained stationary, often sitting still in the same environment where the negative emotional state occurred, I’ve prolonged the emotional state and even aggravated it, ending up feeling worse.
This is often what happens when we blindly accept our emotional state: we give our agency and power away to our emotions and end up feeling worse, both physiologically and psychologically.
How Welcoming Emotions Builds Emotional Intelligence
Striving to welcome an emotion is a much better goal. It’s by welcoming emotions and learning to feel them without reacting or casting judgment that we develop emotional intelligence, all while keeping our agency intact.
We recognise our emotional state and what we’re feeling. We can then use those emotions as feedback tools to understand ourselves, to learn and grow, and to make conscious choices toward a new, more enjoyable and peaceful state.
I don’t know about you, but that’s incredibly empowering and a much healthier way to experience life than being a victim of our emotions.
Of course, this isn’t easy. We often fall back into old habits and behavioural patterns.
That’s why it’s a daily practice.
Make It a Daily Practice
A daily practice of living consciously and mindfully, of having tools in our emotional toolbox to help change our emotional state when needed.
Breathing exercises and physical movement (especially short walks) are my go-to tools.
There can be some trial and error in finding what works for you.
That said, any form of changing our physiology, aka moving our body, is going to have a positive effect and help shift our emotional state.
That’s not just my lived experience; it’s also what the science says.
It’s up to us to find what works and start welcoming, not blindly accepting, our emotions.
Key Takeaways on Welcoming Your Emotions
- Welcome, Don’t Just Accept: Learn the crucial difference between welcoming and accepting emotions. Welcoming is an active process of awareness that keeps you in control, while blindly accepting can lead to a victim mindset, surrendering your value to the feeling.
- Move Your Body to Shift Your Mind: Your physical state directly influences your emotional state. Simple actions like changing your posture, taking a short walk, or practising breathing exercises can effectively alter how you feel and prevent you from getting stuck in negativity.
- Use Emotions as Feedback: Treat your emotions as valuable information, not as your final destination. By welcoming them, you can use them as tools to understand yourself better, learn, and make conscious choices for a more peaceful state of being.
- Make It a Daily Practice: Developing emotional intelligence is an ongoing process, not a one-time fix. It requires a daily practice of mindfulness and having a set of personal tools, like movement or breathing, ready to help you when you need them.
FAQs for The Value of Welcoming Emotions Over Accepting Them
What is the main difference between welcoming and accepting an emotion?
Welcoming an emotion is an active process. It means you are aware of the feeling, open to it, and learn from it without fighting it or letting it control you. Accepting, in the context of this article, is more passive. It suggests you are surrendering to the emotion as if you have no value to change it.
Why is it unhelpful to just accept a negative emotion?
Blindly accepting a negative emotion can lead to a victim mindset, where you feel powerless. This often prolongs the negative state because you remain stationary and stuck in the feeling, rather than taking action to shift your perspective or mood.
What is the most effective way to change how I feel?
The article highlights that changing your physiology is a powerful way to shift your emotional state. This simply means moving your body. Activities like going for a walk, doing breathing exercises, or even just adjusting your posture can have a significant and positive impact on your psychology.
How can I turn my emotions into something useful?
By choosing to welcome your emotions, you can view them as feedback tools. Instead of being overwhelmed by them, you can get curious. Ask what the emotion is telling you. This approach helps you learn about yourself and grow, making conscious choices for your well-being.
Is this process of welcoming emotions supposed to be easy?
No, it is not always easy, and it is normal to fall back into old habits. The key is to see it as a daily practice. Building your emotional toolbox and consciously choosing to use tools like movement and breathing exercises will make it more natural over time.
