This year has taught me many important lessons, and in a few weeks, I will share the top lessons I’ve learned this year and how I’ve applied them.
One of those lessons is the importance of relationships, which has been reiterated to me time and time again this year, in particular. And that, alongside our health, our relationships are the bedrock of what it means to live a meaningful life.
An Introvert’s Perspective
This is coming from someone who values alone time, solitude, and is naturally an introvert.
I don’t think I’ll ever be a natural party starter, and approaching strangers and making conversation, especially in crowded social environments, will be an ever-lifelong challenge.
The truth is that we’re all on the introversion/extroversion spectrum, and I’m most definitely towards the introversion side.
This all manifested into the belief that I don’t need relationships or to be around other people, but rather that I choose to, for one reason or another or, in some situations, have to.
And while, to a certain degree, we all choose the relationships we form, build and invest in, the notion that I, or any of us, can do without them is a total fallacy.
I was wrong… ❌
And many events this year, albeit small, have reiterated this fundamental truth.
Small Moments, Big Realisations
Examples that come to mind include…
The Power of Shared Experiences
Travelling to Europe for the first time.
I originally wanted to do it on my own to prove that I could. Even though, as I’ve recently realised, I didn’t need to prove anything to anyone, not even myself, but that’s probably another story for another day.
Instead, I went with my brother, and we had a great time.
This reiterated that shared experiences are the best experiences.
Sure, if I had travelled on my own, it would have propelled my personal growth. But I’m confident I’ll have those opportunities in the future.
The Hidden Value of Presence
Another example is staying away from home (excluding the trip to Europe) multiple times this year.
I’ve probably spent more nights away from home this year than I have in an extremely long time, and despite what I was doing, from chilling in the evening, preparing food, or just wandering around, it’s all kind of weird doing it on your own…
And I mean really on your own…
I can do many of these things by myself when I’m at home, i.e., chilling in my room, but having at least someone in the house brings a level of safety, comfort and security that I think many of us undervalue, especially when it comes to our loved ones.
Let me put it this way: being in the presence of others, especially our loved ones, is something most of us can take for granted.
I’ve definitely developed a greater sense of gratitude and appreciation for my family, and value the time we spend together much more!
I’ve even noticed it with small things like daily walks and workouts, most of which I do on my own. The times I’ve had the pleasure of walking with family or friends or going to the gym with them have added something extra special that makes it a little bit more enjoyable, something we don’t get when we do these things on our own.
That’s not to say I can’t be on my own or don’t value alone time. I crave some kind of daily solitude, and I definitely need these moments!
I’ve just realised that life doesn’t seem as… good? on our own, as it does with loved ones.
The Hard Part: Navigating Relationships
The challenge with this is that navigating relationships and people, including me and you, can be difficult.
We can be a pain in the arse, annoying, and frustrating. You name it! 😂
Therefore, I’ve concluded that one of the best things we can do with our time is to learn the art of navigating relationships and to develop the skills to help us do so, skills such as communication, active listening, and conflict resolution that can help us navigate relationships that are so important to navigating life.
And this isn’t just because we all have to deal with other humans at some point, but because relationships, again alongside our health, are the backbone of what it means to live a good, meaningful life.
As Tony Robbins says, “the quality of our life comes down to the quality of our relationships.”
That quote didn’t used to resonate with me. But the older I get, the more that has changed, and now it resonates more than ever.
So, What Does This All Mean?
The bottom line?
Don’t take relationships and your loved ones for granted.
And get very, very, very good at navigating them!
Our relationships, especially those developed over time, amplify nearly, if not all, aspects of our lives.
They make life better, even if, in the challenging times, we think not and believe, like I used to, that we can do without them.
We need relationships. We need people. We need each other.
We’re social creatures, at the end of the day…
Don’t forget that!
Reminders
1. Connect daily.
Whether it’s a daily check-in with family, friends, or colleagues or going out to lunch or dinner, we need each other! Some form of daily connection helps to keep our relationships strong, reminding us that we’re not alone, and makes them easier to sustain over time.
2. Cultivate meaningful relationships that aren’t based on assumptions, lies, or deceit.
Honesty and authenticity are two traits that are the backbone of meaningful relationships. Learn to avoid assumptions and deceit, no matter how hard it is, to cultivate the best relationships with family, friends, and the people you just know.
3. Be lenient with others and strict with yourself.
We can’t control what others do or don’t do. We can only control what we do, or don’t do. Therefore, holding ourselves accountable while offering grace to others is a good personal growth strategy that develops self-discipline and integrity, while developing patience, understanding, and forgiveness toward others to help our relationships flourish.