Have you ever wondered what emotional intelligence actually is, and why it matters?

And maybe, more today than ever before?

Well, let’s explore and break it down…

Emotional Awareness: Noticing How You Feel

We start with emotional awareness, which is the ability to be aware of our emotions and how we feel. This, in itself, can be a challenge for most people because our emotions are often complex. Like, what’s the difference between anger and frustration, or happiness and joy?

These emotions or emotional states are often felt similarly in the body, making them difficult to distinguish, let alone articulate and communicate. And that’s without even considering our subjective experience of them.

Emotional Insight: Understanding the Why Behind Your Emotions

We’ll explore tools to become more emotionally aware later because next up, we have emotional insight, which is the ability to gather understanding about our emotions, the why behind them and what they’re telling us or signalling.

Remember:

All emotions have a purpose. They are our body’s way of communicating with us.

The challenge here is that we’re often so busy being busy that we fail to explore our emotions and what they’re trying to tell us until it’s too late.

This is how burnout, mental health challenges, or panic attacks can set in. In many cases, these happen when we’ve failed to pay attention to and explore our emotions. Instead, we’ve suppressed or neglected them.

Not a good idea. This only works for so long before the body makes us stop, often through drastic measures like burnout.

I think it’s a better idea to become emotionally aware and insightful before this happens…

Emotional Control: Responding Instead of Reacting

Finally, we have emotional control.

Emotional control is just what it sounds like: being able to manage and control our emotions. I like to refer to it as being able to consciously respond, not react, to a situation, no matter how we feel.

This doesn’t mean suppressing our emotions. It means being aware of how we feel and knowing that we have a choice in how we respond.

For example, if you feel angry about a situation, a response would be consciously recognising the feeling and communicating it, maybe saying something like:

“Hey, you weren’t honest with me about ABC. That made me feel really angry.”

Then, having a conversation.

Whereas a reaction might involve shouting or losing self-control.

I hope you get my point.

Of course, this is easier said than done, but it can be learned through conscious practice and repetition.

All three, emotional awareness, emotional insight, and emotional control, make up emotional intelligence.

Remember:

Emotions happen. Feelings occur. It’s how we choose to respond, not react, that matters.

And I think being aware of the components that make up emotional intelligence helps us identify, process, and navigate our emotions better, which is vital for our emotional well-being and for life as a whole.

At the end of the day, our emotions are our direct experience of the world. Everything we do, and everything that happens, has the potential to affect our emotional state, especially if we allow it to.

But through awareness, insight, and control, we can learn not to get caught up in emotional contagion and drama so easily and process our emotions in healthier ways.

I don’t know about you, but when I’m able to do this, especially consistently, life becomes more enjoyable, peaceful, and calm. I feel more at ease and more connected with this amazing thing called life.

How to Practice Emotional Intelligence Daily

So, how can we make this practical?

1. Start writing down and tracking your emotional states.

Write down how you feel, what triggered it, and when it occurred. Keep a journal if you like, or just use your phone’s Notes app. If you have an iOS device like mine, the State of Mind feature is a great tool.

2. Reflect on your triggers and trends.

Once you’re tracking your emotions, reflect on what’s behind them. This helps you gather insight and understand the why behind your emotional patterns. I find this part fascinating and powerful for self-understanding and personal growth.

3. Practice emotional control.

Once you’ve developed awareness and insight, emotional control is the next step. This is about being able to respond consciously, not react emotionally to life’s events. It’s not easy. It requires consciousness, time, energy, and practice.

One great way to practice emotional control is through the breath. Whenever you feel triggered, try this:

Stop. Pause. Breathe.

Take a few deep breaths. It helps you re-centre and come back into the present moment.

Once you’re centred, you can choose how you want to respond.

The breath is the most effective way I’ve found to help regain emotional control, especially in heated situations or when I feel triggered. And even then, I’m not perfect at it. I still need to remind myself to come back to it and live in the present moment.

Emotional Intelligence: A Quick Recap

So, there we have it, a breakdown of emotional intelligence and a few ways to practise it daily:

---

Key Takeaways on Emotional Intelligence

1. The Three Pillars of EI: Emotional intelligence is built on three core components: being aware of your emotions (Awareness), what they are telling you (Insight), and managing how you respond to them (Control).
2. Awareness is the First Step: Recognising how you truly feel can be difficult because emotions are complex and can feel similar in the body, like the difference between anger and frustration.
3. Insight Prevents Burnout: Taking the time to understand the ‘why’ behind your emotions is crucial. Ignoring these internal signals can lead to negative consequences such as burnout or mental health challenges.
4. Control is a Conscious Choice: Emotional control isn’t about suppressing feelings. It’s about consciously choosing to respond to a situation thoughtfully, rather than reacting impulsively, which gives value to your actions.
5. Practical Steps for Improvement: You can develop your emotional intelligence by regularly tracking your feelings and their triggers, reflecting on these patterns, and using techniques like deep breathing to practise conscious responses.

---

FAQs for What Is Emotional Intelligence? A Practical Guide to Awareness, Insight & Control

What are the three main components of emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence consists of three key parts. First is Emotional Awareness, which is simply recognising how you feel. Second is Emotional Insight, which is why you feel that way. Finally, there is Emotional Control, which is the ability to manage your reactions and respond consciously.

Why is it so hard to know what I’m feeling sometimes?

Distinguishing between your emotions can be a real challenge because many of them feel similar in the body. For instance, the physical sensations of anger and frustration can be almost identical, making it difficult to articulate exactly what you are experiencing without practice.

What’s the difference between reacting and responding to an emotion?

A reaction is typically an immediate, uncontrolled action driven by the emotion itself, like shouting when you feel angry. A response, however, is a conscious and considered choice. It involves acknowledging the anger and then deciding on a more constructive way to communicate it.

How can I start improving my emotional intelligence today?

A simple yet powerful way to begin is by tracking your emotions. Use a journal or a notes app to write down how you feel, what might have triggered it, and when it happened. Over time, this practice helps build both awareness and insight into your emotional patterns.

Is there a simple technique for emotional control in a heated moment?

Yes, one of the most effective methods is to use your breath. When you feel triggered, just stop, pause, and take a few deep breaths. This simple action helps you re-centre yourself in the present moment, creating the space you need to choose a conscious response instead of an emotional reaction.