The realisation that when we are our most conscious selves, we are our best selves is something I can’t stop thinking about.

It’s just so evident to me that this is true.

Think Back to When You Were at Your Best

Think about all of the times you were your “best self”, and consider what the conditions were that made that possible.

One common denominator you’ll likely find is that you were “conscious”, and not from the perspective of being awake, but from the perspective of being aware and present in the moment.

You weren’t in a reactive state. You were conscious, aware, and present.

It’s worth sitting with that for a second, because it re-frames “being your best self” from something that just happens to you into something with recognisable conditions behind it. It isn’t about willpower or being a better person. It’s about a state.

Conscious vs Reactive: Why the State Matters

When we’re reactive, we’re essentially on autopilot. Something happens, and we respond before we’ve really thought about it, often driven by old habits and emotions. When we’re conscious and present, there’s a small but powerful gap between what happens and how we respond. And in that gap lives our best self.

This isn’t just a nice idea, either. Research on present-moment awareness and emotion regulation suggests that being present helps us stand back from our thoughts and feelings rather than being swept up in them, which tends to reduce reactivity. In other words, awareness creates choice. And choice is where we get to show up as who we actually want to be. It’s the same principle at the heart of understanding why we snap in the first place.

The Real Question: How Do We Stay There?

So the question becomes: how can we remain in that state more often than not, so we can be our best selves more often than not?

That’s one of the questions I’m genuinely fascinated by, and one I’m on the journey of answering.

And I think it starts by understanding the conditions that put us in that state, and then deliberately doing the things that put us there most of the time.

Find Your Conditions, Then Build Your Days Around Them

For me, that’s meditation and/or breath work, movement, having my own space, listening to or watching inspirational content, and engaging in deep conversations.

The important thing is that this list is personal. Your conditions might look completely different. The work is to notice which activities reliably leave you feeling present and aware, and then build more of them into your days, so being your best self becomes less of an accident and more of a practice. This sits right alongside learning to feel good more often without avoiding the hard stuff.

What’s it for you?

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Key Takeaways for Being Your Most Conscious Self

1. The core insight: When you are at your most conscious, you are at your best, so cultivating that state is the goal.
2. What conscious means here: Being aware and present in the moment, not simply being awake.
3. The opposite state: A reactive state, where you respond on autopilot before you have really thought about it.
4. Your common denominator: Recall your best moments and you will usually find you were present and aware, not reacting.
5. The science: Present-moment awareness is linked to better emotion regulation and reduced reactivity, partly by helping you stand back from your thoughts and feelings.
6. Awareness creates choice: The gap between what happens and how you respond is where your best self shows up.
7. The method: Identify the conditions that put you in a conscious state, then do them deliberately and often.
8. Example conditions: Meditation or breathwork, movement, personal space, inspiring content, and deep conversations, though yours may differ.

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FAQs for Being Your Most Conscious Self

What does it mean to be your most conscious self?

Being your most conscious self means being aware and present in the moment, rather than simply awake. In this state you are not reacting on autopilot; you are responding with awareness. It is the state most people are in during the moments they would describe as being at their best.

Why are we our best selves when we are most conscious?

Because in a conscious, present state we are not run by automatic reactions. We can pause, choose our response, and act in line with who we want to be. Research on present-moment awareness links it to better emotion regulation and less reactivity, which is where our best self tends to show up.

How is being conscious different from being reactive?

A reactive state is automatic: you respond to events on impulse, often before thinking. A conscious state is aware and present: you notice what is happening, create a small gap, and choose how to respond. That gap between stimulus and response is where your best self lives.

How can I be my best self more often?

Identify the conditions that reliably put you in a conscious, present state, then do them deliberately and often. For many people that includes meditation or breathwork, movement, quiet personal space, inspiring content and deep conversations. Make them a regular practice rather than an occasional treat.

Does being present really reduce reactivity?

Yes, the research is supportive. Studies on mindfulness and present-moment awareness link them to improved emotion regulation and reduced reactivity, partly by helping us stand back from our thoughts and feelings. The effect tends to be strongest when awareness is paired with acceptance rather than constant self-monitoring.

What are good ways to get into a conscious state?

Common practices include meditation, breathwork, movement, spending time in your own space, consuming inspiring content and having deep conversations. The key is personal: notice which activities leave you feeling present and aware, then build your days around doing more of them.