I’ve often thought about the giving and providing value conversation. Maybe that’s because of the business circles I find myself in, yet it’s becoming increasingly evident that this conversation also applies to every aspect of our lives, most notably our relationships and connecting with others!
If you’re not aware, there are leaders like Simon Squibb who talk about giving without taking and, of course, in a business context, Gary Vee, who always talks about providing value.
Giving vs Taking (Not Receiving)
A question I had was: if no one was on the receiving end of giving, then there would be no one to give to, as it’s a symbiotic relationship!
But then I realised I was being daft, because it’s not about not receiving… It’s about not taking, and there’s a very different energy between the two, don’t you think? It’s a distinction organisational psychologist Adam Grant explores brilliantly in his book Give and Take, where he shows that “givers” contribute to others without expecting anything in return, while “takers” try to get as much as they can.
The Energy of Taking vs Receiving
When we “take”, we’re in a survival, ego-dominated, and often insecure place. We’re thinking only about ourselves, lacking consciousness, thoughtfulness, and compassion for others. In many ways, it’s the same ego at work that makes us snap.
On the other hand, when we receive, we are open, thankful, appreciative, and often thinking about how we can return the good deed or what we’ve received. We are more conscious and thoughtful.
This wasn’t the only insight I had around this conversation.
Give for the Joy of It, No Expectation
I also realised that the giving mentality is about giving for the joy of giving, with an open heart, receptive to anything that comes your way, but not expecting anything in return. It’s exactly why I believe helping others should feel good, not drain you.
It’s the expectation that dampens most people.
We have to ask ourselves: if we “give” with an expectation of getting something in return, is it really giving?
The Gift and the Speech: Two Examples
For example: when we give a gift, is it for the joy of giving a gift, or is it with the expectation that because we’ve given a gift, we’ll get one when our time comes around…
OR
In a business context, if we give a speech, is it for the joy of giving a speech and providing value to others, or is it with the expectation of landing a client or getting business?
These are subtle but big nuances that matter. They affect our energy and how we show up in the world.
Just think about a time when someone gave for the pure joy of giving, versus looking to get something in return…
The energy is totally different!
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not operating at this level of consciousness all of the time. Yet these are two key insights I’ve experienced this week that will have a profound impact on how I show up in the world. My hope is that they help you in some way too, because at the end of the day, the more of us who can live from this place of consciousness, the better the world will be.
Don’t you think?
Key Takeaways on Giving vs Taking
- Distinguish Taking from Receiving: Receiving is a healthy part of a symbiotic cycle where you remain appreciative and open, whereas taking springs from an ego-driven mindset.
- Shift Your Internal Energy: Taking stems from insecurity and survival instincts, but receiving lets you stay conscious, thankful, and ready to pass kindness forward.
- Give Without Expectation: True giving brings pure joy when you drop all expectations of a return, keeping your energy light and your actions genuine.
- Recognise Transactional Habits: Whether offering a present or presenting a speech, focus on providing real value rather than seeking personal gain.
FAQs for Giving vs Taking: Why the Energy Behind It Matters
How does receiving differ from taking?
Receiving means welcoming support or gifts with gratitude and openness. Taking comes from a self-centred mindset driven by insecurity, where you focus only on personal gain rather than mutual benefit.
Why should you give without expecting anything in return?
Expecting a return turns a generous act into a transaction. When you give purely for the joy of helping others, you maintain a positive, open energy that enriches your relationships and emotional well-being.
How do hidden expectations affect your professional life?
If you give talks or offer help in business solely to land clients, people pick up on that transactional intention. Focusing on authentic value builds genuine trust and long-term connections.
