Sorry to bring up the dreaded topic of COVID…
After five years from its outbreak (at the time of writing), this topic has, strangely enough, come up in many conversations over the last few days, after, at least in my own life, not hearing a single word about it for what must have been two-plus years or so.
Then, all of a sudden, in the space of a week, it’s made an appearance more than once.
Thankfully, it’s been in the form of how it affected the vast majority of people, as well as the debate that surrounded the vaccination programme and whether it was (and still is) safe or not, and not in the form of illness.
Truth Lies in the Middle
The emergence of the topic brought more light to the realisation of what I have often said: that life and truth often lie in the middle, not in the extremes.
For example, using COVID: on one end, you have some people who are known as “anti-vaxxers,” and those who are all for the vaccination and think there is no harm in it whatsoever…
Moving away from COVID, you have people who are deeply, deeply, deeply religious, and those who are atheists and against religion at all levels.
Then, from a health perspective, you have people who say carbs are bad, no matter what, and that a keto or animal-based diet is the way to go, and those who swear by plants only.
The list goes on and on and on.
I’m confident that there are many examples we can all think of when it comes to this and the extremes that exist within any given topic or area of life.
Avoiding the Trap of Labelling
Now, I’m not here to say that any of these people or groups of people are right or wrong.
I try not to live in the world of constant labelling, because I don’t see how it’s helpful if we actually want to help one another and create a better world!
And here’s the thing…
What I’ve realised is that, living in extremes, no matter the end, you are ostracising the other and creating separation.
Yet, neither side realises it.
Neither side realises that they are doing the same as the other side and therefore, in my mind, both are as bad as the other (as the saying goes).
Again, and I want to stress this: I’m not here to say who is right or wrong…
Belief Is Personal
At the end of the day, it all comes down to our individual beliefs, and I believe that we all have the autonomy and freedom to believe what we want and choose to believe, and to do so based on what works for us.
The challenge, though, is not projecting those beliefs onto others and realising that our beliefs are our beliefs only, and to keep them that way.
That doesn’t mean we can’t be friends with, hang out with, or associate with others who have different beliefs from us; on some level, we all do.
The world would be a pretty bleak place if we all believed the same and acted in the same way based on our beliefs.
When We Live in Extremes…
When we live in extremes, we fail to realise this and most of the time end up ostracising others who don’t align with our beliefs.
We view them as bad, evil, not good people, or as morally wrong…
Like, really?!
Whether it’s the COVID debacle, vaccination programme, vaccines in general, certain diet frameworks, lifestyles, or causes and movements like Just Stop Oil, none of these is inherently gospel.
For example, we could learn something valuable from the “anti-vaxxers” or those who sit on the other side if we were just a little bit more open.
Both of their messages could have some valuable wisdom, lessons, and truth to them.
Choosing to Live in the Middle
Which is why, at least for me, I like to live in the middle.
I find this the best way to create balance, harmony, and peace, which are all things I’m optimising for!
No matter the topic, I intentionally keep an open mind to both (or all) sides, and find that coming to the table with an open mind is incredibly valuable to form a consensus that is rooted in the middle.
I find this to be the healthiest approach, especially if you’re optimising for what I’m optimising for: harmony, peace, and contentment.
Knowing What You Stand For (Without Extremes)
There may be those who say, “Well, at least in the extremes, you know what you stand for…”
And there is the famous odd quote that states:
“If you stand for nothing, you fall for everything.”
I resonate with this quote and think that knowing our values and what we stand for is vitally important in living a meaningful, purposeful life.
This is something I’m an advocate for and encourage all of us to discover and live out our values.
Much like our beliefs, the challenge arises when we start to force them onto others.
And I’d like to make the case that we can, it’s possible and plausible, for us to live out our values and stick to what we believe without becoming so disillusioned by them that we believe everyone should value and believe what we do, and if they don’t, they are ostracised and castigated!
This is just silly at best…
We’ve Always Had Tribes, But We Can Choose Consciously
There is the potential argument that humans have always formed groups and tribes. It’s in our evolutionary nature, and in the modern world, this manifests in groups and tribes around certain ideologies and beliefs.
Sure, that probably plays a big role, one that is way out of my pay grade, although I’m curious to explore, as this shouldn’t be underestimated.
That said, I think we all have a choice: by living just a little bit more consciously, to take a look at ourselves and see if we’re living in an extreme around a certain belief, ideology, cause, framework, you name it, and to question if it’s as helpful as we think it is.
The Personal Growth Journey
This is part of our conscious personal growth journey: to look at the areas of our lives in which we can grow, become more open, accepting, and aware, so that we can live a better, more joyful life and be more connected to each other.
Because at the end of the day, we’re all just walking around on this planet doing the best that we can, figuring it all out as we go, navigating through this crazy thing called life.
You may or may not agree with a word of this, and that’s fine.
From an observer’s perspective, I’ve just seen enough turmoil, angst, you name it, from us humans living on either side of the extreme spectrum on a variety of topics, and my recent encounter with the pandemic in 2020, which we all lived through, reminded me of this and how it’s just not that helpful.
Remember:
Life is not lived in extremes. It’s lived in the middle.
Key Takeaways on Why Extremes Divide Us
- Truth Lies in the Middle: Understand that extreme positions on topics like health, religion, or social issues often create division. The most balanced and truthful perspective is usually found somewhere in the middle ground, not at the poles.
- Avoid the Labelling Trap: Recognise that living in extremes leads to labelling and ostracising others. Both sides of an extreme argument often engage in the same divisive behaviour without realising it.
- Keep Beliefs Personal: You have the freedom to hold your own beliefs, but the challenge is to avoid projecting them onto others. Acknowledging that your beliefs are your own is key to peaceful coexistence.
- Stay Open to Other Perspectives: When you live in extremes, you risk viewing those who disagree as morally wrong. By staying open, you can find valuable wisdom and lessons from all sides of a debate.
- Choose the Middle Path for Harmony: Intentionally keeping an open mind and seeking a middle ground helps create balance, peace, and contentment in your life. This approach fosters healthier discussions.
- Stand for Something Without Being Extreme: It is entirely possible to have strong personal values and know what you stand for without becoming so rigid that you castigate those who believe differently.
- Make a Conscious Choice: While forming tribes is a natural human tendency, you can consciously choose to examine your own beliefs. Question whether an extreme stance is truly helpful for you and your connection with others.
FAQs for Why Extremes Divide Us
What does it mean to ‘live in the middle’?
Living in the middle means you consciously avoid taking extreme, black-and-white stances on issues. Instead, you seek balance, keep an open mind to different viewpoints, and look for common ground to foster harmony.
Why are extreme beliefs so divisive?
Extreme beliefs are divisive because they often cause you to label people who disagree with you as ‘other’ or morally wrong. This creates separation and conflict, preventing open dialogue and the chance to learn from different perspectives.
Can I still have strong values without being an extremist?
Absolutely. You can and should know what you stand for and live by your core values. The key is to do so without insisting that everyone else must adopt your beliefs or ostracising them if they do not.
What is the main benefit of avoiding extreme thinking?
The primary benefit is creating more peace, harmony, and contentment in your life. By being more open and less rigid, you can connect more deeply with others and form a more balanced, well-rounded view of the world.
How can I start moving away from extreme views?
You can start by consciously questioning your own strong beliefs. Ask yourself if they are creating separation. Try to listen to opposing viewpoints with a genuine desire to understand, not just to respond. This is a core part of the personal growth process.
