Happiness…
What is it? And what does it truly mean to be happy?
The Pursuit of Happiness: A Default Setting?
Have you ever wondered why, almost by default, we fall into the assumption that happiness is the ultimate goal, without ever questioning it?
It’s a societal norm that most of us have been conditioned to pursue, and we walk around on this planet in pursuit of this illustrious goal without really understanding it.
We all undergo this monumental task in different ways, from financial and career success to success in our personal lives, relationships, health, and every other facet of what it means to be human, in the hope of one day arriving at this so-called magical place of finally “being happy,” without ever really defining it for ourselves.
The more I learn about happiness, the more I realise that it’s not an elusive place or destination…
It’s a state that comes and goes. It fluctuates.
For example, I’m sure we can all remember a time when we felt ecstatic and full of happiness, and other times when we felt the opposite.
This range of feelings and emotions is what it means to be human.
Being happy all the time probably isn’t that healthy, and to be sad, or in states of depression, also goes without saying, isn’t healthy either.
Just imagine if you were happy when a loved one passed. That would be kind of strange.
Even if you’re an optimist and spin it as you’re “happy” that your loved one lived a long, prosperous life, you would probably still experience some mourning and sadness that they are now gone.
My point is that allowing ourselves to experience and feel the full range of emotions and feelings is actually what it means to be human.
I, like most of us, am a work in progress when it comes to this and think that it’s a never-ending journey, part of our personal growth, unfolding, and the human experience.
Back to happiness…
Is Happiness Really the Goal?
And if happiness isn’t the ultimate goal, as we’ve been led to believe, what is the goal?
After reflecting on this for quite some time, I’ve come to the realisation that, at least for me (maybe it’s the same for you too), the goal isn’t happiness, but rather peace, contentment, and fulfilment.
To be at total peace, content, and in harmony with all that is…
To not ruminate about the past, or think, worry, and stress too much about the future…
To be fully present in the here and now, in each passing moment…
I get that this is a monstrous task, especially in the modern world, but just like any worthwhile goal, there are challenges along the way.
It’s not impossible, though.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve had many moments where I’ve at least felt and been in this place and similar states.
Coming Home to the Present Moment
I’ve had times where I’ve felt fully connected and in the moment. I describe this feeling as similar to returning Home. And my God, it feels liberating.
My hypothesis on this is that it’s because we’re right in the here and now, where life is truly lived.
Life isn’t lived in the past, and it isn’t lived in the future either.
It’s lived in the here and now, right in this moment.
That’s not to say not to reflect or not to plan for the future.
I do both of these regularly.
It is to say that I think all of us, to some degree, can learn to live that little bit more in the present moment, in the here and now, and when truly cultivated, I think we experience what many of us seek by pursuing the illustrious goal of happiness without needing to achieve anything, go anywhere, take any specific action, or meet a specific goal.
Present-moment living has been shown to have a strong relationship with subjective well-being, suggesting that simply being fully conscious is one of the most reliable routes to a sense of fulfilment.
Therefore, in my mind, what we’re actually seeking, what we’re actually looking for, is often found right where we are: in the here and now, in the present moment.
What Are We Truly Searching For?
Unfortunately, many of us forget this, as we are on the seemingly never-ending, perpetual cycle of achievement and success in pursuit of happiness, without ever questioning what it truly means to be happy.
No wonder we find ourselves in states of low mood or even depression…
I find it amusing how our physiology works and how, as humans, we like to make life more difficult than it actually needs to be.
I mean, life doesn’t need a helping hand in this regard; it can be challenging enough.
I guess it’s all part of what it means to be human, and is a feature, not a bug, of our makeup.
It’s a bit of an annoying feature. But like all features, whether we like them or not, if we can’t change them, it’s about working with them to the best of our ability.
Final Thought: Define Happiness for Yourself
Remember:
Happiness is an emotion. It’s fleeting. It comes and goes. It’s not the ultimate goal.
Peace, contentment, and feeling fulfilled in harmony with all that is, is what I think we’re all striving for on some level.
Maybe I’m just talking for myself…
The question to ask yourself is:
What does it truly mean to be happy?
What does happiness mean to you?
Key Takeaways on What Does It Truly Mean to Be Happy?
- Happiness is a State, Not a Destination: You should view happiness as a fluctuating emotion that comes and goes. Expecting to be happy all the time is unrealistic; experiencing a full range of feelings is a natural part of being human.
- Aim for Peace and Fulfilment: Instead of chasing happiness, consider aiming for a deeper sense of peace, contentment, and fulfilment. These states are often more stable and rewarding than the fleeting highs of happiness.
- The value of the Present Moment: True contentment is often found in the here and now. By focusing on the present moment, you can experience a profound sense of connection and well-being without needing to achieve external goals.
- Question Your Pursuit: Reflect on why you are pursuing happiness. Many of us are conditioned by society to chase success and achievement in the hope of finding happiness, but this cycle can often lead to dissatisfaction.
FAQs for What Does It Truly Mean to Be Happy?
Why isn’t happiness the ultimate goal?
The article suggests that happiness is a temporary emotion, like sadness or excitement. It comes and goes. Pursuing it as a final destination can be frustrating. Instead, aiming for more constant states like peace, contentment, and fulfilment can lead to a more stable sense of well-being.
What should I focus on instead of happiness?
You could focus on being fully present in the here and now. Life is lived in each passing moment, not in the past or future. Cultivating this presence can bring a sense of peace and fulfilment that the constant chase for happiness often misses.
Does living in the present mean I shouldn’t plan for the future?
Not at all. Planning for the future and reflecting on the past are both useful activities. The key is not to get lost in them. You can learn to spend more of your time consciously experiencing the present moment, which is where life actually happens.
How can I start defining happiness for myself?
Begin by asking yourself what happiness truly means to you, separate from societal expectations. Consider what brings you a genuine sense of peace and contentment.
Is it unhealthy to feel sad or negative sometimes?
No, it’s completely normal and healthy. Experiencing a full spectrum of emotions is part of the human experience. For example, feeling sadness after a loss is an appropriate response. The goal isn’t to eliminate negative feelings but to feel them without letting them completely take over.
